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#holistic #getfit #nutrition Be Careful What You Measure

Last week, Wells Fargo fired a bunch of their remote employees.

It turns out that these employees were “simulating keyboard activity” (with a program/device that automatically typed keys or jiggled their mouse when they weren’t at their computer).

Why?

Because that’s how these employees were evaluated:

Not by how many clients they brought in, nor how many relationships they fostered, but by how many hours they were active on their computers.

So that’s exactly what these employees gave them.

Remember, this is the same bank that told employees back in 2017: “Sign up as many clients to extra banking services as possible.”

The result?

Millions of unknowing customers had credit cards and savings accounts and brokerage accounts created illegally in their names, hundreds of millions of dollars in fines, and destroyed goodwill for Wells Fargo.

Why did both of these comically bad lapses in judgment happen?

Bloomberg’s ​Matt Levine​ said it well:

Two basic principles of management, and regulation, and life, are:

  1. You get what you measure.
  2. The thing that you measure will get gamed.

Really that’s just one principle: You get what you measure, but only exactly what you measure. There’s no guarantee that you’ll get the more general good thing that you thought you were approximately measuring.

If you want hard workers and measure hours worked, you’ll get a lot of workers surfing the internet until midnight.

I stumbled across this story last week, and immediately thought how this exact incentive-and-unexpected-results plays out everyday in our lives.

We download Duolingo to learn to converse with a native speaker in their language. Months later, we’re checking in daily so we don’t get yelled at by the Owl, we are desperate to keep our daily streak active…and we can only say “I found a blue ostrich at the library.”

We lie in bed, waiving our arm above our head like a madman, because our FitBit says we need 500 more steps to hit 10,000 for the day. (​Here’s the history of the 10k step rule​ by the way…)

I once “meditated” every single day for 6 months so that I could build my meditation streak in Headspace. Sometimes I would even open the app and just let the meditation play so I got credit for it, even though I wasn’t meditating…THE WHOLE REASON I HAD DOWNLOADED THE APP.

We tell ourselves that we want to “read more,” but then we track how many books we read. This incentivizes us to read books quickly (without retaining any of it), instead of tackling bigger challenges like War & Peace or rereading our favorite books to glean more lessons.

WHY do we want to read more? To learn stuff or to be entertained! The ​number of books, or WHICH books, doesn’t matter​:

Social media began as a way to connect with friends. These days, social media is big business and the only marketing tool for many creators. Because these companies track “time on app” and “attention”…social media is now a hellscape of outrage.

The most attention-grabbing content filters to the top: outrage inducing, factually incorrect, awful content designed to enrage and fear monger. Even most of my favorite wellness creators these days spend their time making reaction videos to the most vile wellness misinformation, because that’s the only type of content that gains any traction.

(No wonder so many people are avoiding the ​Dark Forest of the Internet​!).

All of these things weave a fascinating tapestry of how the human brain works, and just how good our brains are at taking a metric and learning the wrong lesson from that metric!

What are you measuring?

The majority of people visit NerdFitness.com to “lose weight.”

This is the one metric that everybody is used to tracking. Every ad talks about how to lose weight fast. They see the number on the scale and let that number determine how they feel about themselves that day.

This is the wrong metric to exclusively focus on:

We don’t really want to “lose weight.” What we want is to lose fat while keeping the muscle we have (or building muscle).

If our ONLY goal is weight loss, severe calorie restriction and endless cardio might result in a lower number on the scale. BUT! If we don’t change our relationship with food, and consume enough of the right macronutrients and micronutrients, we’ll end up feeling lethargic, starved, and miserable…and then gorge ourselves as soon as life gets in the way.

If we strength train while eating enough protein and in a caloric deficit, we’ll actually lose weight slower than if we just starved ourselves and did hours of cardio. BUT, we’ll be losing fat while maintaining muscle.

The scale should only be ONE part of how we ​evaluate our progress​:

After all, the number on the scale is going to ​fluctuate from day to day​:

  • If we went out to dinner last night.
  • if we ate too much salt yesterday.
  • If we’re carrying extra water weight.
  • If we’re on our period.
  • any number of reasons.

So, once we know that what we choose to track is important, how do we use this to our advantage?

What to Track, What NOT to Track

Remember, that which gets measured gets improved, so let’s be smart about what we’re tracking.

We can ask, “What do I REALLY want to happen? Is this the right metric for that goal?”

  • Trying to “eat better”: ​Track your protein intake ​and number of fruits/veggies eaten daily. If those are the first two things on your plate for each meal, your weight will start to shift without your focus on it.
  • Trying to build a “​beach body​”? Great, let’s ​build some muscle​. Track your workouts, and write down exactly how many sets and reps. Then, do ONE more next time. The goal? Progressive overload for the win! Get stronger,
  • Want to read more? Don’t track “books read,” which might result in you picking shorter books or speed reading, but instead track “time spent reading.” This can include audiobooks, rereading old books, whatever. Treat your reading list ​like a river, not a to-do list​!

Finally, there are many things we probably DON’T need to track, or we should be careful about when tracking.

There’s a whole community of biohackers who are prioritizing tracking the tiniest of details across a variety of metrics, many of which don’t matter, or might result in adverse outcomes.

Here’s something we get asked about a lot:

Unless you’re a diabetic and have been advised by a doctor, you do not need to wear a continuous glucose monitor. Temporary glucose spikes after eating a meal are perfectly normal.

(​This podcast​ from my friend Dr. Spencer Nadolsky does a good job explaining why you don’t need a glucose monitor unless you’re diabetic).

Here’s something I used to track but abandoned:

I used to track my sleep religiously with an Oura ring and AppleWatch, but then I would get anxious in the middle of the night and worry that I was ruining my “sleep score”…which negatively impacted the very activity I was trying to improve through tracking. These days, I worry far less about tracking “good sleep” and just do what I can to be in bed for 8ish hours, asleep or not.

And on a bigger, life philosophy question:

Be wary of how social media is warping the scorecard you’re using to track your progress in life! It’s really easy to get sucked into: “Work hard to make money to spend it on things we don’t need to impress people we don’t even like” Life success isn’t measured in the size of our house, or value of our car, or the number in our bank account.

Bringing it all together:

When it comes to personal development or health improvement, it helps to ask: “What am I optimizing for, and does that actually help me get the result I really want?”

We can then decide if we’re even playing with the right scorecard and keeping our focus on the right metric.

I’d love to hear from you: what’s a metric you USED to prioritize, but no longer track? And what’s the important metric that you’re choosing to prioritize these days?

Hit reply on this and let me know!

-Steve

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#healthyliving #holistic #nutrition 10 Mindful Activities for Anxiety that You Can Do at Home

activities for anxiety

If you’re looking for activities for anxiety because you’re struggling more often than you’d like, you’re not alone. According to the World Health Organization, anxiety is more prevalent than any other mental illness. As women, we’re especially vulnerable to this condition—in 2023 alone, 32 percent of U.S. women reported feeling anxious versus 24 percent of men. 

I’ve shared openly before about my struggles with paralyzing anxiety in the past (link to podcast episode on the topic). I’ve also shared how one of my kids has also experienced intense bouts of anxiety. This topic is near and dear to my heart and something that I am dedicated to speaking about and bringing more awareness to. 

The rising rates of anxiety in kids, and especially girls, is very concerning to me. My hope is that by providing more support through Lindywell and pointing to other helpful resources, we can make an impact and fight against the rising statistics.

While seeking professional help is often the best and first step one should take, there are also tools you can use at home to feel better day-to-day and in the moment.

The Link Between Mindfulness and Anxiety Relief

Cultivating a mindfulness practice can teach you to reframe anxious thoughts to help restore a sense of calm. Research has shown that daily mindfulness training can decrease nervous system arousal and strengthen functional brain circuits to help relieve anxiety at a neurological level.

If you want to learn more about mindfulness and nervous system regulation, check out some of our recent blog posts: 

10 Mindful Activities for Anxiety Relief

At Lindywell, we’re firm believers that any wellness or self-care activity can be a mindfulness practice if you do it with intentional awareness. This means tuning into the mental, emotional, and physical sensations that arise as you do the activity. Staying fully present in that moment, even when that might be difficult to do.

But today I want to share 10 mindful activities that can be especially helpful for anxiety relief—that you can also easily do at home to restore balance, and ultimately, come back to a sense of true wellbeing.    

Disclaimer: Based on how frequent and severe these anxious thoughts become, you could also benefit from working with a licensed therapist or seeking out other resources. Check out this free, confidential mental health hotline that’s available 24–7 or search for a therapist in your area on Psychology Today.

1. Pilates Workouts

Pilates is a restorative exercise that combines fluid, gentle motions with deep attentional focus. Ideally, Pilates should not be about pushing yourself to  achieve a specific result, instead to notice how your body and muscles feel with each movement and let your body guide you. 

While you can use Pilates to build strength (and our members love this aspect of the workouts!), Pilates also focuses the mind, while releasing endorphins in the body. This acts as a natural mood stabilizer and can help to alleviate symptoms of depression and anxiety.

Finally, Pilates is also easily adaptable for those with chronic pain or mobility restrictions, making it accessible to just about everyone who who is looking to move their body in a way the supports anxiety relief.

2. Gardening

There’s something innately therapeutic about a connection to nature—and cultivating your own garden can reinforce those healing benefits. That sensory experience of touching the earth and watching new life take root can nourish your mental health as well. 

In fact, those who garden are more likely to report high emotional resilience and lower rates of depression, anxiety, and chronic stress. Even if you don’t have a large backyard or access to a communal garden, you can still grow plants on a balcony, patio, or window sill

3. Creative Projects

Whether you paint a sunset, crochet a scarf, write a poem, or draw in a coloring book, it’s so beneficial to free your creative juices. Research in the Cureus Journal shows a direct link between artistic expression and a boost in self-esteem, which could alleviate chronic mental health distress. 

Creativity is not about perfection, so don’t worry about the final product—have fun with the process and let your imagination run wild. This is what will make any creative pursuit a great activity for anxiety relief!

4. Puzzles or Brain Games

Games that require deep concentration have been found to strengthen the brain’s prefrontal cortex, which improves decision-making, flexible thinking, and problem-solving. These mental skills can help you combat impulsive reactions or anxious ruminations before they become too overwhelming. 

The key here is to choose a game that’s low-pressure (timed games can increase stress cortisol levels), such as a puzzle, sudoku, brain teaser, or word search. Making room for play has an incredible restorative effect on the nervous system. 

5. Journaling

When an anxious thought, emotion, or belief threatens to immobilize you, grab a journal and translate it from an abstract feeling into concrete words. Even if all you can manage is a few sentences, this will make it easier to process what caused this bout of anxiety and whether the fear is based in reality. 

A recent study shows that journaling each day for an entire month can help manage anxiety and post-traumatic stress symptoms on a day-to-day basis.

6. Gentle Stretches

As crucial as movement is for all facets of wellness, sometimes you just cannot summon the physical stamina or mental energy for an intensive workout. And that’s okay! I’ve been there many times, and I know I’ll continue to have those days—our bodies need different things on different days. 

In moments like this, do some gentle full-body stretches to relieve tension and promote circulation. Performing stretches can increase relaxation, calmness, pleasure, stress management, and your overall mood state. Move with slow, mindful precision and focus on each sensation as the muscles contract and lengthen. 

Start a Lindywell free trial to get instant access to 350+ Pilates workouts, which includes an entire section on restorative workouts and stretching that are perfect for days like this.    

7. Body Scanning

Since physical, mental, and emotional health are connected, anxious feelings can manifest in the body as well. For instance, you could experience a headache, stomach nausea, tight shoulders, sweaty palms, or chest and throat constriction when you’re anxious. 

Doing a body scan can teach you to notice where you’re holding tension, so you can direct compassion to that area and alleviate the discomfort. This process also helps reduce cortisol levels to regulate stressful or anxious emotions.

8. Conscious Breathwork

Breathwork can be a somatic practice that encourages you to tune into the natural, rhythmic cadence of breathing and your body. Plus, slow breaths from the diaphragm can lower blood pressure and heart rate to soothe autonomic nervous system arousal and return to a state of balance. 

To make your deep breathing more somatic (to connect to calm within your body) try one of these simple exercises:

  • As you inhale, notice how your stomach and lungs fill with air. As you exhale, notice how these areas of your body empty.
  • When taking deep breaths, tune into all your senses. What do you hear? What do you smell? What do you feel?
  • Before deep breathing, choose a point in your body to direct the breath. Focus on sending your breath to that area along with peace, compassion, or whatever you feel you need at that moment. 

9. Music Appreciation

Whether it’s playing an instrument or listening to your favorite album, music can offer many profound healing benefits. There’s a reason your favorite song makes your whole body light up or that one slow song is just what you need to hear when you’re feeling low. 

As a therapeutic intervention, music exposure has been found to boost self-esteem, resilience, emotional regulation, life satisfaction, and subjective well-being. So, turn on a song that makes you smile—and in the process, you’ll turn down the volume on those anxious thoughts. A favorite song that always gets me moving: September by Earth, Wind and Fire. It never fails!

10. Somatic Shaking

This is a somatic practice I LOVE to do—and you may feel silly at first, but trust me. Shaking is a technique in which you move from head to toe in primal, free-flowing motions to literally shake off chronic, built-up tension. 

This practice can be used as a tool to process trauma and it can also lessen the impacts of anxiety, depression, or other mental health concerns. There’s no exact formula for how to do this, so don’t fixate on how you look or whether you’re doing it “right.” 

The idea is to just relax your muscles, release your inhibitions, and just shake and move your body in any way that feels good.  

Some of the Best Activities for Anxiety Relief Can Be Found Within Lindywell

If you or someone you know is experiencing anxiety, I want you to know you’re not alone. I know it can feel scary and isolating. I’ve been there. I also want you to know that you won’t feel this way forever. Continue to pursue tools that help you to manage your symptoms and keep taking slow deep breaths. You’re getting stronger by the day.

We’ve built Lindywell with a grace over guilt approach—each workout can help reduce anxiety as you tune into your breath and meet your body where it is that day. As a member, you can access more than 350 Pilates classes, along with guided breathwork sessions and nourishing (and easy!) recipes to feel good in your mind and body. 

Sign up now for a 14-day free trial and unlock the anxiety-relieving benefits of Lindywell.

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#holistic #getfit #nutrition What’s the “30/30/30 Rule” for Weight Loss?

Today, we’re diving deep into the viral 30-30-30 “rule” for weight loss.

Recently, I noticed the 30/30/30 method blowing up on TikTok and Instagram.

Here’s the video of Gary Brecka explaining the “30/30/30 rule to lose fat” in case you haven’t seen it:

Let’s quickly recap what this “rule” entails, in case you missed the video.

The 30-30-30 Rule: Kickstart your day with 30 grams of protein within 30 minutes of waking up, followed by 30 minutes of steady-state cardio.

Simple, right? The claim is that this combo will make body fat vanish like magic.

Let’s dig a little deeper into the nuances here – where does this rule hold up, and where does it fall short of the mark?

I asked Jim, one of our Master Coaches, to share his thoughts:

Here’s what Jim had to say:

While it’s a snappy strategy, it’s crucial to remember that not all “rules” are created equal, especially in the world of fitness.
​
Most advice is not one-size-fits-all mandates. What works wonders for one person might not have the same effect for another.

He then broke down each section a bit:

#1) Do I Need 30 grams of Protein for Breakfast?

Starting your day with a protein-packed breakfast is fantastic. It helps to maintain muscle and keeps you feeling satisfied.

But does it have to be exactly 30 grams?

Absolutely not!

That number is not some magic incantation that unlocks fat loss. You may be eating more or less protein.

What matters most is that you’re getting enough throughout the entire day to support your goals. You can calculate the range of protein you’ll likely need each day, then divide it by the meals and snacks you have.

This will give you a better target to start.

#2) Do I Need to eat within 30 minutes of waking up?

Some of us are early birds, while others prefer a leisurely morning routine.

And some of us are wrestling kids and crazy schedules as soon as we get up!

The 30-minute window after waking up is not a rigid law. As with most things related to nutrition, there are many ways to eat to support your goals. Your progress will be determined by the total number of calories and protein you eat across a day and week, not within any specific hourly window.

Some people may benefit from having protein early on in their day if it helps them feel more satiated and less likely to overeat other foods. But it is by no means some “magic” window to unlock fat loss.

Bottom line, if you want to eat within 30 minutes of waking up, go for it! But if you don’t, there’s no need to force this. 95% of your progress will be determined by what you eat across an entire day, not in any one specific time frame.

#3) Do I need 30 minutes of cardio in the morning?

Cardio is a fantastic way to get moving and burn some calories.

But whether you prefer it in the morning, afternoon, or evening is entirely up to you. Do what works best for your schedule and is most sustainable.

There is not some secret fat loss power-up that you’re missing out on by going for a walk at lunch instead of in the morning.

Plus, it doesn’t always need to be “steady-state.” You could mix in some interval training on occasion if that’s more your style.

The bottom line?

Fitness is not about fitting into a prescribed mold; it’s about finding what works best for you and your lifestyle.

While catchy strategies and specific numbers are easy to remember – they often stress us out about tiny details that ultimately don’t make a big difference.

Are we eating enough protein and moving around?

Then you’re doing good. Keep at it!

—

-Steve

PS: Do you wish you had a Coach like Jim in your corner to answer questions and ensure you’re not wasting time and energy fretting about the tiny details that don’t matter?
​
​Check out our coaching program! You can schedule a chat with our team right here:




**Photo Souce from Four Bricks Tall**

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#healthyliving #holistic #nutrition What is Body Positivity? (And What Is It NOT?)

what is body positivity

What is body positivity? Well, that’s a great question—and one that many are wondering as the movement has morphed and been co-opted in different ways. To me, body positivity is about showing love and appreciation for your body. 

More importantly, it’s about choosing that love for your body over the messages from our modern culture that your body is a representation of your worth—that you need to change it to fit a cultural expectation of what defines a “good” “beautiful” or “healthy” body.

I also think, however, that the movement has led some people to think that embracing the body you have today means that you don’t need to care for it. Or that you can’t work toward fitness or health goals and also love your body now. 

Ultimately, most of us in the wellness space will answer the question of “what is body positivity” differently. Here at Lindywell, we take a grace over guilt approach while also supporting our bodies for long-term health. 

If that’s the way you approach life (or want to!), then let’s talk about what body positivity really means and how it can fit into a wholistically healthy life.

The Origins of the Body Positivity Movement

Body positivity can trace its origins to a 20th-century social movement started by intersectional Black and LGBTQIA+ activists. Their goal was to resist the discrimination and marginalization of bodies that exist outside Western society’s “thin, white, straight, cis” norm. 

The first wave of body positivity celebrated all sizes, races, abilities, genders, and sexualities. It centered on their unique experiences and encouraged everyone to cultivate healthy relationships with their bodies. 

In short, this movement is rooted in confronting unrealistic beauty ideals to embrace body acceptance and representation for everyone. And I love that!

How Modern Body Positivity Is Missing the Mark

There are many ways the modern body positivity movement is missing the mark. As it’s been picked up on social media, the sentiment has been co-opted, leading to misrepresentation, unnecessary pressure, and more. Here’s what the research tells us about how body positivity is actually hurting more than helping. 

It’s Leaving People Out

Let’s jump ahead more than half a century to the modern iteration of body positivity. In a recent analysis of #BodyPositive TikTok videos, 93 percent featured conventionally thin bodies, while only 32 percent featured larger bodies. What’s more, less than 35 percent even mentioned the theme of body image acceptance at all.

In another study, researchers looked at 500 Instagram posts with the hashtags #BodyPositivity or #BodyPositive to examine the diversity within this content. Less than one-fifth of the posts showed a non-white person, about one-sixth showed someone in a larger body, three showed a queer person, and two showed someone with a disability. Most of the content overwhelmingly focused on the pursuit of fitness and weight loss. 

Keep in mind that this began as a countercultural movement to push back against narrow, exclusive beauty norms and create space for all bodies to thrive. But social media’s interpretation of “body positivity” can erase the experiences of those for whom this term originated. 

The consequences speak for themselves. According to a survey of 11,620 adults across the U.S., those from marginalized communities are more likely to face appearance-related stigma. Folks in larger bodies are especially vulnerable to prejudice, harassment, or discrimination for their weight, which can influence eating disorder behaviors.

If Often Feels Unattainable

Another potential issue with body positivity is that it’s often an unattainable goal to strive for. As healing as radical self-acceptance and affirmation can be, we cannot always will ourselves to just manufacture these feelings. 

More than 60 percent of 35 to 54-year-olds across the globe confirm that poor body image has had an adverse effect on their well-being. Whether your dissatisfaction is a result of size, weight, shape, or some other external factor, you might not be able to reframe this internalized critique at a moment’s notice. 

Sometimes it’s hard to love how we look in the mirror—and no amount of positive thinking will transform this mindset entirely. This is where body positivity can fall short.

It Feels Pressuring

Messages such as, “Be comfortable in your own skin,” or “Love yourself no matter what,” sound beneficial on the surface. These sentiments, however well-intentioned, can actually make us feel worse. Research shows that when a body positivity mantra comes across as controlling or pressuring, it can undermine our sense of agency and harm our self-esteem.

Consider Opting for Body Neutrality Instead

Body neutrality removes the pressure of feeling like you need to love all facets of your external appearance at all times. Rather, it encourages you to recognize that your body is worthy of love, respect, and kindness no matter how it looks. 

Psychologists Dr. Mia Pellizzer and Dr. Tracy Wade have established three main components to define “body neutrality” as:

  • A mindful, realistic, and flexible view of the body as a whole
  • A willingness to respect, care for, and appreciate how the body functions
  • A realization that self-worth is not based on external appearance 

The objective of body neutrality is not to ignore complicated emotions that come to the surface when you look in a mirror, wear a certain outfit, or see a post on social media. It’s to recognize none of that defines you. 

This neutral outlook on body image lets self-compassion and curiosity replace criticism, so you’re free to accept the truth: Nobody is perfect, and that’s alright. You have more important qualities to offer than how you look.

How to Be Body Positive or Neutral—and Also Focus on Long-Term Health

I believe that we can be body-positive and still work toward long-term health goals. I don’t just believe this—I know it to be key to feeling good in every season of life. This comes down to how you approach health and fitness. It’s not about forcefulness or physical appearance but listening to your body and setting yourself up for health and happiness in every season of life. 

If you want to be body-positive (or neutral), while still taking care of your body, here are a few helpful strategies.

Let your body lead.

If you’re working out just to check a box or forcing yourself through workouts that you don’t like, it’s time to take a step back. Let your body lead. Is it craving a slow, stretching workout? Or is it feeling ready for the challenge of a HIIT or strength-training workout? This is about focusing on movement that feels good for your body.

Focus on consistency, not duration.

Creating long-term health is not about working out for 60+ minutes every time you move your body. It’s about prioritizing that movement daily, even if it’s only for 10-15 minutes. This comes back to giving your body what it needs rather than forcing some arbitrary version of what a workout “should be.” Plus, we all have 10-15 minutes each day for movement, no matter how busy we are!

Set an intention.

Workouts shouldn’t be focused on how your body looks. Instead, I want you to focus each workout on an intention that has nothing to do with what you see in the mirror. For example, your intention may be to stoke some creativity for your workday or get an energy boost mid-day. Movement fuels your mental health, gives you energy, reduces stress and so much more. Being body positive is all about shifting the focus to how you feel, rather than how you look.

Incorporate more nourishing foods.

Eating “healthy” doesn’t mean you need to have a salad every day. It means choosing foods that nourish your body (provide fuel and energy) and your mind (tastes good). I want you to think about both your mind and body when thinking about long-term health goals. If one is thriving and the other isn’t, you’ll struggle to create a balanced and fulfilling life. 

If you want support on moving your body consistently, choosing nourishing foods, and focusing on grace over guilt in your health journey, start your 14-day free trial of Lindywell. Join thousands of women across the globe who have finally found the one workout program that keeps them consistent while reducing stress and building strength!

Embrace Your Health Journey With Body Positivity

Body positivity matters—but the message has been skewed. In its purest form, this movement includes, represents, embraces, and celebrates the full spectrum of human bodies. It was never meant to erase or overlook anyone, nor was it created to shame you into a disingenuous, performative brand of self-love.

If you want to cultivate a healthier, more authentic relationship with yourself, I invite you to join Lindywell. As a member, you get immediate access to 350+ Pilates classes, conscious breathwork sessions, and nourishing recipes. You will also be part of a diverse community that champions the vibrance and uniqueness we all bring to this world.

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#holistic #getfit #nutrition What to do if you DON’T like to exercise:

I don’t really like to exercise.

Okay, I kind of like picking up heavy weights and doing handstands.

But I certainly don’t love “cardio.”

Rather than nerd out about biomechanics, I’m more interested in anthropology and human behavior.

Rather than going to run a 5K, I’d rather sit on my couch and play Fallout 4 I (just watched the show, it’s fantastic.)

What I’m trying to say is I’m not a fitness nerd.

I’m a nerd who tries to be fit.

So if you’re somebody who also just doesn’t “like to exercise,” you are in good company.

I also have some amazing news for you.

Back in Time

I recently read ​Exercised​ by Daniel Lieberman, professor of anthropology at Harvard University.

Lieberman has spent large swaths of time studying and living with hunter-gatherer tribes all over the world, including the Tarahumara (who appear in the book Born to Run), the people of Pemja (Kenya), and the Hazda tribe of Tanzania.

Lieberman points out that most studies and research are conducted on very specific, narrow subset of humans:

WEIRD humans!

Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich, and Democratic.

Modern western society only makes up a tiny part of the total human experience.

Homo Sapiens have been around for 150,000-300,000+ years!

So, if our goal is to see “what most humans do,” we need to expand the variety of humans we observe, look way back in time, and observe human behavior outside of modern western culture.

Luckily, Lieberman has done exactly that, living with modern hunter-gatherer tribes and studying ancient cultures:

For generation after generation, our ancestors young and old woke up each morning thankful to be alive and with no choice but to spend several hours walking, digging, and doing other physical activities to survive to the next day.

Sometimes they also played or danced for enjoyment and social reasons.

Otherwise, they generally steered clear of nonessential physical activities that divert energy from the only thing evolution really cares about: reproduction.

For 99.99% of our existence as a species, we needed to conserve energy, not needlessly try and burn extra energy. Whenever we weren’t actively securing our survival, we were resting to conserve energy. This whole modern concept of trying to build excess muscle, or exercising to burn extra calories would be a foreign concept to our ancestors.

Food was always in short supply, which meant every day the bodily cycle for each human has to decide how to use each calorie consumed.

Because we had to burn precious calories to hunt or find our food, needlessly burning excess calories during the rest of the day just doesn’t make any sense to ancient humans, nor to modern hunter-gatherers.

So! Of course…

It makes sense you don’t want to exercise!

As Lieberman points out:

“We never evolved to exercise.

…exercise today is most commonly defined as voluntary physical activity undertaken for the sake of health and fitness.

But as such it is a recent phenomenon…

The mantra of this book is that nothing about the biology of exercise makes sense except in the light of evolution, and nothing about exercise as a behavior makes sense except in the light of anthropology.”

As Lieberman shares in the book, tribes like the Hazda certainly burn more calories than western office-workers, but only because they have to, and not dramatically so: “Typical hunter-gatherers are about as physically active as Americans or Europeans who include about an hour of exercise in their daily routine,” but don’t have abundant access to easily consumable energy the way the rest of us do.

This is where we encounter the “​Evolutionary Mismatch Hypothesis​”:

Differences in stressors between the environment in which humans evolved and the current environment are mismatches that can cause disease.

Up until 10,000 years ago, humans lived a nomadic lifestyle as hunter-gatherers, with different stressors from the ones that people experience nowadays in modern environments.

Note: this is NOT where I’ll tell you to start eating Paleo (​Paleo is a misguided diet​ that works because of math, not “ancestral” reasons).

I’m specifically talking about how our brains and bodies try and function in a modern environment. Edward Wilson said it best: “We have Paleolithic emotions, medieval institutions and godlike technology.”

Which means we need to ​start with acceptance​: Rather than beating ourselves up for struggling to build a voluntary exercise habit, we can accept we’re human.

We evolved to survive in scarcity, and now exist in a world of abundance.

Exercise is beneficial AND no longer “necessary”

Exercise is good for us.

Cardio is good for our heart and lungs. Exercise of any type can help create a calorie deficit, and reducing our body fat percentage can help reduce all-cause mortality. Building and maintaining muscle mass and strong bones is critical for our health as we get older. We also feel better after we exercise: thanks dopamine and serotonin and endorphins!

There are literally hundreds of benefits of exercise with regards to our health.

We all know this.

And yet we all think: “I know I should exercise more, but I can’t get myself to do it.”

Let’s set aside the fact right now that we’re all busy as hell, and taking extra time out of our day to exercise is a BIG ask for many (shout out to single parents working multiple jobs!). With that out of the way, why is it so hard for us to build a new exercise habit and stick with it?

Because we’re fighting against biology and our history.

For our day-to-day survival, we don’t need to exercise anymore:

  • We used to have to find/hunt our food, now we can hit a button on our phone.
  • We used to have to travel by foot everywhere, now we can drive a car.
  • We used to have to stay active or die, but we can now survive for a long time even if we’re unhealthy and inactive.

And if exercise is no longer necessary for our survival…

The Only Two Reasons We Exercise

Unless we’re being chased by a wild boar or fell off a boat and need to swim to shore, none of us need to exercise today specifically to survive.

Then why does anybody exercise at all? As Lieberman categorizes it, we exercise for one of two reasons:

  • It’s emotionally rewarding
  • It’s physically rewarding

We can exercise because it’s emotionally rewarding: We might go for a run because of the dopamine hit, or because we are part of a socially active club. We might strength train because it feels empowering, or because we don’t want to feel lonely or lazy, or because it helps us process our anxiety or depression.

We can exercise because it’s physically rewarding. We might try to get better at pickleball because we’re competitive. Or we might exercise because we want to lose weight and fit into certain sized clothes, or because we don’t want to die of a heart attack at an early age like our dad.

In ALL of the examples above, we’re all having an internal debate with our lazy brains, who would rather conserve energy.

We have to convince ourselves “the benefits of this activity now outweigh the negatives, so I’m willing to take time out of my day to do it!”

Here’s how you can do exactly that.

How to Make Exercise More Rewarding

With “necessity” off the table, we need to find ways to make exercise emotionally rewarding, physically rewarding, or both.

Here are some thoughts to get you started.

Let’s start with making it more emotionally rewarding:

Socializing is a HUGE part of humanity, and includes things like camaraderie, positive social pressure, etc.

  • Join a running club where the goal isn’t even “get better at running,” but because it’s your friends.
  • Dance classes or martial arts classes in disciplines that seem fun to you.
  • A kickball league or pickleball league for your apartment building.

We can also reframe how we think about exercise. Instead of just calories burned, what if we focused your exercise on “This makes me feel better.”

  • Listen to your favorite podcasts while working out (​temptation bundling​).
  • Treat your daily walk like a walking meditation.
  • Running a 5K to raise money for a charitable cause.
  • Your Big Why (to be a role model for your kids, to be around for your grandkids).

Can you find ways to make exercise feel physically rewarding? Yep, “look good naked” is still a viable motivator for many. Feel free to keep that as part of your reason for exercise! It’s certainly one of my reasons.

However, for many of our ​coaching clients​, their big shift to sustainable exercise happens when their mentality changes from “How much weight do I need to lose?” to “I wonder what my body is capable of!”

Instead of just weight loss, they have goals like:

Alternatively, exercise can be physically rewarding when it doesn’t feel like exercise! Dancing, yoga, LARPING, hiking, walking. We’ve even written about ​40 ways to exercise without realizing it​. Movement can be fun.

You may also start to enjoy the physical sensations of exercising and feeling your body move. For many of ​our clients​, focusing on what their body is capable of doing and the feeling of moving their body can completely shift their associations with exercise from noxious to welcoming.

Finally, exercise can be physically rewarding when we find ways to make exercise secretly more “necessary.” Parking at the other end of the parking lot, adopting a cute pup that needs to be walked every day, taking the stairs, walking or biking instead of driving.

It all adds up!

Why I Personally Exercise

This book caused me to reflect on my personal reasons for working out.

I have a single workout folder in Evernote with 1975 notes in it, and my workouts over the last 11 years haven’t changed that much.

How do I get myself to do the same boring workout, 4 times a week, every week, for more than a decade, even though I don’t like to exercise?

It’s combination of all the methods above:

  1. Genetic lottery (luck). I exercise because I’ve always exercised. I grew up being active, I played sports, I worked out in college, it’s now just something I do. ​I got lucky​.
  2. Working out makes me feel good (emotionally and physically rewarding). When I exercise, I feel like I did something good for myself. Like showering and flossing my teeth, it’s part of my hygiene. I also sleep better and eat better on days when I exercise.
  3. Exercise is the path to aesthetic self-confidence (physically rewarding). I might have more fun exercising in other ways, but I know strength training with heavy compound movements helps me look a certain way (like a guy who owns a fitness company)
  4. Working out is my podcast-meditative time (emotionally rewarding). I know I have 1 hour where I can’t look at a screen. Which means I can listen to a fun podcast and exercise.
  5. I go for meditative walks (emotionally rewarding). When I’m walking I can’t be looking at a screen. I’m also outside. I might listen to a walking meditation, or a podcast, or just force myself to actually be present with my thoughts on walks.
  6. Exercise makes me better at golf (emotionally and physically rewarding). I like golf, and I know strength training will make me better at golf. And golf doesn’t feel like exercise, but it gets me out of the house, off my phone, hanging with my friends and walking 5+ miles every time I play.

Remember, it’s okay if you don’t want to exercise.

Exercise is no longer necessary for immediate survival and we didn’t evolve to want to exercise to burn excess calories. This is a modern, mismatched phenomenon.

We’re still monkeys on a rock, built for scarcity, but surrounded by abundance.

So if you can find a way to make exercise more physically rewarding or emotionally rewarding, you’re more likely to turn it into a routine you look forward to, rather than something you have to endure.

Good luck, fellow monkey on a rock!

-Steve

PS: If you hate treadmills, feel free to keep this fact from Exercised in your back pocket:

“Treadmill-like devices were first used by the Romans to turn winches and lift heavy objects, and then modified in 1818 by the Victorian inventor William Cubitt to punish prisoners and prevent idleness.

For more than a century, English convicts (among them Oscar Wilde) were condemned to trudge for hours a day on enormous steplike treadmills.”

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#healthyliving #holistic #nutrition Pilates vs. Barre: Which Workout is Better?

Pilates vs. barre

People often ask me about Pilates vs. Barre—which is better and what are the differences. I’ve taught Pilates for more than a decade and got certified as a barre instructor nearly 9 years ago as well, so I love to discuss the differences as well as what to watch for when determining if Pilates or barre is the best fit for you.

If you’re trying to choose between the two, come along. Let’s compare and contrast these two popular low-impact workout styles so you can weigh out the unique advantages of each.

Pilates vs. Barre: On the Surface, They’re Very Similar

In 2023, about 11 million Americans took Pilates classes, and another 4 million took Barre. At first glance, these workouts have a lot in common. Both can improve your balance, strength, flexibility, and posture.

The movements are also easy to adapt for various fitness or mobility needs, which makes these forms of exercise accessible to just about everyone. There are even seated Pilates and Barre routines, tailored specifically to wheelchair users. 

Not to mention, since Barre integrates certain elements of Pilates, both reinforce the mind-body connection. This has been found to increase present awareness, reduce stress, stabilize the nervous system, regulate emotions, and boost mental health outcomes. 

In short, Pilates and Barre have much to offer—but let’s explore some of their key distinctions.

Pilates: Mindful Strength-Building

Pilates combines fluid motions to strengthen the muscles, conscious breathwork to open the lungs and calm the nervous system, and core activation to maintain a stable center of gravity. It also uses functional movements such as bending, leaning, twisting, and reaching to promote mobile joints, so you can perform daily tasks with ease (and no restrictions). 

While you can use resistance bands, free weights, or reformer machines, you can do all of the original mat Pilates exercises without equipment. (This makes up the majority of our workouts in the Lindywell app!) This makes it a convenient option for anyone who prefers to work out at home—or even in a hotel while traveling. If you have room to stretch out your arms and legs, then you can move through a quick routine.

The mindfulness component of Lindywell Pilates also helps ground your attention, tune into physical sensations, and restore inner peace. As such, here are some of the many holistic wellness benefits you can get from a Pilates workout:  

  • Muscular strength and endurance
  • Balance and motor coordination
  • Joint mobility and flexibility
  • Enhanced pelvic floor function
  • Less anxiety or depression 
  • Chronic pain relief and lower falling risk
  • Protection from bone density loss
  • Increase in mood state and sleep quality
  • More physical and mental energy
  • Postural control and alignment

Barre: Ballet Turned Into Fitness

Barre fuses the precision of ballet, the aerobic elements of a cardio workout, and the core activation of Pilates together. Unlike the flowing and lengthening movements you do in Pilates, Barre often uses controlled tucks, pulses, or isometric holds with a small range of motion to keep your muscles contracted at all times. 

It’s important to note, that just like Pilates—not all baree workouts are created equal.

Unfortunately, I’ve worked with many clients you have experienced back pain and back issues as a result of classes that focus far too heavily on moving in a “tucked” pelvis in the majority of exercises. I share more about that in this blog post about Barre workouts if you’re curious to learn more.

Barre also moves at a higher, more dynamic tempo than Pilates, which increases your heart rate and causes the slow-twitch muscle fibers to shake. The combination of aerobic exercise and isometric resistance can be a great way to add more cardio into your routine to reap the benefits of lower blood pressure, improved heart health, and improved circulation.

I completed my barre training through Balanced Body which integrates the principles of Pilates into barre movements. I love the way it focuses on a neutral pelvis (to support back health) and a strong center as you move through the exercises. 

Barre workouts that include Pilates principles and work within a neutral spine can be found in the Lindywell app and membership. A few of my favorites are (insert names of a few barre workouts in the app)

The Lindywell Difference

While we focus primarily on Pilates at Lindywell, we do it uniquely. We focus on grace over guilt, consistency over long-duration workouts, and building strength that lasts through every season of life. We’ve created more than 350 Pilates workouts that you can find in the Lindywell app and in each workout, we focus on a few key things:

Mindfulness: Each movement is controlled and intentional. Despite what modern fitness culture has taught you, speed is not always the goal of each exercise. In fact, the slower you do a movement, likely the harder you have to work.

Meeting your body where it’s at: Some days, you may want to push yourself. On other days, you may want a slow and simple movement practice. We have workouts for every mood and need within the Lindywell app so you can meet your body where it is every day—no forcing required. We want you to enjoy every single workout!

Modifying: The fullest expression of a movement isn’t always the best option for you. Especially if you’re just starting to build strength, working through an injury, or coming back from a season with less movement. That’s why myself and our other instructors always provide modifications that allow you to push your body harder or slow it down, depending on what you need that day.

The results of this approach speak for themselves! See what our thousands of members around the globe have to say about Lindywell. 

Bottom Line: Which Workout Is Right for You?

Ultimately, choosing Pilates vs. Barre will come down to preference. Each movement style has its unique benefits. While Pilates is at our core, we also love to incorporate barre in ways that are aligned with what is best for the body from a mechanical and functional perspective—as long it’s taught well and doesn’t cause pain or harm to your body, we like Barre too!

Start your 14-day trial of Lindywell and see for yourself! As a member, you get instant access more than 350 online Pilates classes, along with conscious breathwork sessions and nourishing (and easy to make!) recipes.

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#holistic #getfit #nutrition What we get wrong about time

Today I’m going to teach you a valuable lesson about time from a giant tree.

No, not Groot.

Redwoods.

If you drive down the Avenue of the Giants in Northern California, you’ll find yourself weaving in and out of some of the most majestic, gigantic redwood trees you’ll ever see.

If you’re having trouble picturing this in your mind, think back to the Endor speeder chase scene in The Return of the Jedi. This scene was filmed near the Avenue of the Giants in Humboldt Redwoods State Park.

And as you’re driving down the Avenue of the Giants, you’ll eventually stop at a nondescript gift shop along the side of the road, and this is where things get even crazier.

You’ll encounter a slice of a redwood tree standing on its side. This tree has a diameter of nine feet and was over 300 feet tall at the time of its felling, the length of a football field.

The first observation you’d make: “Sweet sassy molassy, this tree is gigantic.”

The next jaw dropping moment happens when you get closer and notice its concentric rings. As we all learned in grade school biology class, the rings of a tree can tell us the tree’s age: each ring represents a year and tells a story.

This is where the fun happens.

Scattered across this dissection of the tree are little name tags, identifying key moments in history, starting in the center and working its way outward. Photo here from ​Barry Swackhamer​:

1000AD: “Vikings Discover America.”

1096AD: “Oxford University Founded.”

1218AD: “Genghis Khan conquers Persia.”

This head-exploding trip through history continues, from the Ming Dynasty to the Renaissance to the Printing Press, Cortez conquering the Aztecs, Pilgrims at Plymouth Rock, Boston Tea Party, and so on, to the founding of the California National Parks System in 1927, and beyond.

Here you can see the entirety of modern history, separated by a few feet within tiny concentric rings inside a 1000+ year old tree.

It’s wild that from the perspective of a tree, just a few feet (1 meter) separate “Vikings reaching America,” and modern life 1000+ years later. Zoomed out, it’s wild to see how insignificant this time gap is:

Which brings me to today’s point.

We’ve got time wrong.

We humans are really good at worrying about what we can get accomplished today, what we ate for ONE meal, what’s important this week, or how much we can change in a month.

From the perspective of a 1000 year old tree, these time frames are comically short and insignificant.

If trees could laugh (like the Ents of Fangorn Forest), they would laugh at us.

This realization had me thinking about time and how to reframe the timeline on which I think about stuff.

As I talked about in a recent newsletter about the ​additive method for habit building​, I’m in the process of building a meditation habit.

And as I was reading Jon Kabat-Zinn’s book ​Wherever you Go, There You Are​, and this quote rattled my brain:

“It may take some time for concentration and mindfulness to become strong enough to hold such a wide range of objects in awareness without getting lost in them or attached to particular ones, or simply overwhelmed.

For most of us, it takes years and depends a good deal on your motivation and the intensity of your practice. So, at the beginning, you might want to stay with the breath, or use it as an anchor to bring you back when you are carried away.

Try it for a few years and see what happens.“

That final sentence completely shifted my expectations.

In the past, I would think “if I could just meditate for 30 days straight, THEN I’ll be really good at mindfulness”

This quote helped me realize I was thinking about this all wrong. I wasn’t going to have some magical epiphany when I reached enlightenment. I wasn’t going to “get there” in weeks or months. Instead, the only goal was to set aside time to sit with my awkward brain and focus on my breath. That’s it.

Suddenly, “trying it for a few years” had me thinking about this completely differently.

Here’s why this is important.

Extend your time horizon

Here are two of my favorite quotes about time:

Bill Gates: “Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.”

Daniel Hofstadter: “Hofstadter’s Law dictates it will always take longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter’s Law.”

Everybody is in such a rush to see how many weeks or months it will take to get in shape. Or how long they need to go on a diet to lose the weight, and then they can go back to “normal eating.”

Reality plays out differently: things will always take longer than we want, so we should change how we think about it.

Instead of “how fast can I get there,” we should be thinking “what’s the least amount of work I can do today, to help me be in better shape a year from now?”

If we change our time horizon, paradoxically we often end up making more progress, more permanently.

If everything takes longer than expected, then we should probably pick reasonable goals, sustainable routines, and enjoyable activities that we won’t mind doing for a much longer period of time.

We talk about this a lot with our ​coaching clients​.

I even made this video a number of years ago: “​Think in terms of days and years, not weeks and months.​”

Here’s one final helpful reframing of time horizons:

Whenever I’m finding myself overwhelmed with making a certain decision…I ask myself “Will this matter 6 months from now? A year from now? A decade from now?” By extending my time horizon, it often helps me realize that the thing I’m agonizing over doesn’t matter nearly as much.

What’s one area of your life that you’re thinking about on a short term time scale, that would benefit from thinking on a far longer horizon?

  • A short term crash diet, vs. long term reevaluation of your relationship with food
  • An unsustainable workout program vs building a daily habit of movement.
  • Agonizing over small decisions that won’t matter a month from now, let alone a year from now.

Extend your timeframe, and see if that changes how you think about things.

-Steve

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#healthyliving #holistic #nutrition 5 Practical Ways to Slow Down and Enjoy Life

slow down and enjoy life

We hear it all the time: slow down and enjoy life. As if it’s so normal and easy to do. The truth is, in our go-go-go culture, this can feel completely unnatural—and hard!

Yet, we do need to slow down. Especially women, 53 percent of whom (in the U.S.) deal with chronic stress. Even worse, only 36 percent get the hours of sleep they require—and we also know sleep is the most crucial and practical way to truly slow down.

We live in a culture where busyness has become a status symbol. Research even found that we perceive those who multitask as highly important and morally virtuous. 

This busyness feels inescapable—whether we actually want to cram our schedules or not. I know I feel like I’m often hopping from a Zoom meeting to cleaning and then right out the door to soccer practice for my kiddos. There’s always another commitment to focus on it seems. 

The problem is that a frenzied, hectic pace can ultimately lead to burnout which can lead to more damaging health issues. A real-life example of this is my own life. Living that go-go-go lifestyle led to my surprising health diagnosis.

I’ve made a lot of progress over the last few years, but to be honest, I still have a lot of room for improvement. Just recently I had a heart-to-heart with my husband about the pace of life we’re living and how we can make changes to support not only my health but also the whole family. It’s a real challenge and I don’t want to pretend that it’s easy.

Ladies, it’s time for us to slow down. This is a priority for me right now and it’s also one of the primary reasons I wrote my book, Well to the Core. So let’s dive into a few practical steps we can take to finally do this—enjoy life again!

First of All, What Does It Mean to Slow Down?

If the idea of slowing down makes you feel anxious, let’s clear up some misconceptions first. This doesn’t mean you suspend all tasks until further notice. Nor does it mean you should blow off the invitation you accepted a month ago so you can stay home and take it slow.

Slowing down is the practice of being intentional with your time. It’s not realistic or beneficial to just shove your career, personal, and family commitments aside. You can, however, create more room for more spaciousness, mindful awareness, and sheer enjoyment by picking and choosing how you spend your time. 

This slower pace will remind you to choose presence over distraction, embrace moments of calm or rest, and breathe in all the beauty life has to offer. Doesn’t that sound like such a relief? (It sounds so lovely to me!)

Interestingly, doing more—and multi-tasking to get it done—isn’t even effective. According to a researcher at the University of Washington, our brains are up to 40 percent less efficient and more prone to errors when we multitask! Add that to the list of things we believe as fact, and yet, has been simply taught to us by modern culture.

Let’s get to the practical steps to slow down and enjoy life. 

5 Practical Ways to Slow Down 

Mindful awareness creates a deeper sense of meaning and appreciation for the moment you’re living in. So, it’s not surprising that mindfulness can also promote stress management, alleviate depression or anxiety, regulate emotions, and increase life satisfaction overall. Slowing down is a form of mindfulness that you can practice at any time. The following practical (and enjoyable!) techniques will help you reclaim the value of slowness.    

1. Create simple, joyful rituals. 

Set aside a few quiet moments each day to prioritize whatever brings you bliss—even if it’s only 5 minutes. Here are a few ideas you can do no matter what else is going on in your life:

  • Savor your cup of coffee or tea on the patio each morning (while leaving your phone inside!). 
  • Bask in a luxurious skincare routine at night. 
  • Burn your favorite candle or incense while practicing a 3-5 minute meditation. 
  • Do something playful to unleash your inner child.   

The goal is to create this space in each day. Remember that it might change from day to day, depending on what you need and what your schedule looks like. All that matters is that you do something that brings you true joy and peace each day.

2. Be intentional with your breath. 

Conscious breathwork is a healing somatic practice to reduce stress, ease muscle tension, and calm the autonomic nervous system. As you inhale from the diaphragm, this motion signals the brain to soothe the nervous system’s arousal response, which fosters relaxation and stabilizes intense emotions. 

One practical way to prioritize intentional breathing is to set a timer on your phone to go off 2-3 times each day. Think: morning, afternoon and night. When that timer goes off, you stop what you’re doing and take 3 slow, deep breaths. If you’re in the middle of something, snooze the alarm, and come back to it.

You can also simply start and end your day with three deep breaths in bed. It takes less than a minute but gives you a chance to pause, slow, and quiet some of that noise in your head.

3. Immerse yourself in nature. 

I have been loving taking a walk every single day—sometimes for 10 minutes and others for 30 minutes or more. I’m not so much worried about how long I go, but more that I simply make the time to do it because it slows me down and makes me feel good. 

The best part is, you can do this anywhere, whether on a city sidewalk or through a nearby nature preserve. If you don’t want to walk, or don’t have time, just prioritize being outside:

  • Read a book at the local park.
  • Start a garden in the backyard.
  • Enjoy a restorative Pilates session at the beach. (Lindywell members know we love this!) 
  • Sit on your patio or front lawn and listen to the birds or watch the people going by.
  • Step outside to catch the sunset for a few moments wherever you are.

Not only does this force you to slow down, but it reduces stress. In fact, spending just 10 to 30 minutes in nature can reduce your cortisol levels, blood pressure, heart rate, and other biological stress markers. Such a win-win!

4. Moderate your screen time. 

Consider how much time you spend responding to emails, browsing the internet, or checking social media. A lot of this is needed—but it doesn’t mean you can’t cut back. The reality for many of us is that we need our devices to work, plan, and live life. Here are a few practical ways to cut back, even a little:

  • Schedule 2-3 times each day to check your email. For example, you might check once in the morning, once mid-day, and once before logging off for the night. This eliminates the back-and-forth of checking each time a notification comes in. 
  • Set clear digital boundaries for yourself, like no phone for the first hour of the day no screen time after 7pm. You might also try picking one day each week to have no devices at all, like Saturday or Sunday. 
  • Re-think your evening routine. Lately, I’ve been reading in bed each night Sunday-Thursday and then watch shows after the kids are in bed on Friday and Saturday only. This ritual has helped my sleep and become a rhythm that has helped me to reduce screentime.
  • Walk during calls and meetings when you can. I have also been taking as many calls as I can on walks as opposed to sitting in the house. This isn’t always possible, but when video isn’t required, I’m opting back for a good old-fashioned phone call in an effort to take a break from screens and get some fresh air and movement in the midst of my day.

5. Cultivate a gratitude practice. 

I did a 30 days of gratitude challenge and it changed my life. While you don’t need to do a specific challenge, though, to reap the benefits—it is important to make this a regular practice. Not only does this encourage you to slow down and enjoy those precious moments you might otherwise overlook—gratitude has many health benefits, including:

  • Reduced depression and anxiety
  • Improved heart health
  • Better sleep

Here’s the thing: you can have a gratitude practice and still be rushing around from thing to thing. Here are a few ideas I’ve truly been living out lately that haven’t been easy:

Mindful Answering: Asking myself “at what cost?” instead of immediately committing to do more and take more onto my plate, I’m making sure to pause and think through the implications of doing so. Are there drawbacks that could impact my ability to slow down and enjoy my life? 

If so, I need to consider those thoroughly before saying yes. This applies in terms of work commitments, but also volunteer commitments and even commitments that we make for our kids (such as joining another sports team or RSVP’ing for multiple birthday parties on a given weekend).

Mindful Scheduling: Taking a look at our schedule on a monthly basis and ensuring that after busy stretches, we have weekend of rest as well. We can accidentally pack our weekends and pack our weeks and realize that we didn’t reserve any time in our schedule for downtime. Looking at our schedule in advance helps us to plan for downtime to avoid burnout and future stress.

Embrace a Slower, More Intentional Life with Lindywell

Whether you want to carve out more time for rest, or are craving being more present, consider joining our community here at Lindywell. 

As a member, you can access over 350 online Pilates classes, breathwork sessions, nourishing recipes, and other resources to slow down, invest in self-care, and enjoy life. Start a free 14-day trial now and reap the benefits for yourself!     

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#holistic #getfit #nutrition Ulysses Pacts: STOP believing in yourself

Last week, I downloaded a new video game to play.

And 30 minutes later, I uninstalled the game. Not because I didn’t like the game, but specifically because I liked the game too much. The game is called Dave the Diver, where you are a SCUBA Diver/Sushi restaurant owner. You spend each day diving and catching fish, and then each evening serving sushi at the restaurant.

This game pressed every biological button my brain has for “efficiency.”

My brain told me I had to execute each dive as efficiently as possible. Each night at the restaurant meant I needed to receive a 100% customer satisfaction rating.

Of course, nothing would happen if I didn’t.

But this game + my brain equaled a recipe for addictive disaster. After 30 minutes I knew if I didn’t delete it, I would spend every possible minute playing the game, and every minute not playing would be spent thinking about how to get more efficient at the game.

Animated GIF

Because I’m in the middle of writing a secret-book-shaped-project that I can’t talk about… I knew I needed to save Future Steve.

In other words, it was time to channel an ancient strategy for survival:

A “Ulysses Pact.”

What is a Ulysses Pact?

In Homer’s Odyssey, Ulysses (also known as “Odysseus”) is about to sail past a dangerous island of Sirens who sing beautiful music. This music is so beautiful that anybody who hears it loses all control, and will sail toward the island, crashing their boat on the rocks surrounding the island.

Luckily, our boy Uylsses has been advised by the witch Circe on the only way he and his men can survive. In Madelline Miller’s ​Circe​, she recounts the advice Circe gives the captain:

“[For] the Sirens, there you may use your tricks. Fill your men’s ears with wax, and leave your own free. If you tie yourself to the mast, you may be the first man to ever hear their song and tell the tale.”

As author Corey Doctorow points out in ​a recent newsletter​:

“Ulysses was strong enough to know that he would someday be weak. He expressed his strength by guarding against his weakness.

“When you take some possibility off the table during a moment of strength in recognition of some coming moment of weakness.”

In other words, sometimes giving up on yourself is the most courageous thing you can do. It asks you to accept your weaknesses, and make a strategic pre-planned decision to protect against them.

Ulysses Pacts In My Life

I am a comical disaster trapped in the body of an adult who pretends to be a functioning member of society. I am also my own boss, completely in control of my time. Yikes.

I struggle with impulse control. There are certain experiences that I am just incapable of doing “a little bit.” I also know that once I start an enjoyable activity, it will take over.

Which means it’s practically impossible for me to only do some things “just a little bit” and then say “okay that’s enough for today.”

After all, I know my brain isn’t equipped to handle the life of abundance we’re surrounded with: endless distraction, hedonistic enjoyment, unlimited food, etc.

E.O. Wilson said it best:

“The real problem of humanity is the following: We have Paleolithic emotions, medieval institutions and godlike technology.”

Rather than lament my lack of willpower when it comes to addictive technology, I ​practice acceptance​ and instead make willpower unnecessary.

Thus, my life is held together with spit, duct tape, and Ulysses Pacts:

  • I have an app on my phone called Opal. It automatically activates at 7AM and blocks certain apps, websites, and all social media for most of the hours of the work day. I still pick up my phone 10-20 times per day and try to open those apps, and then I’m reminded to get back to work.
  • I use a program on my computer called Focus. It automatically activates at 7AM and blocks practically ANYTHING fun or distracting on my computer until the end of the work day.
  • I don’t keep snacks in my house. I love snacks. And once a bag is open, it gets eaten. But when I’m sitting on the couch watching TV (I just finished Fallout and loved it), and I’m craving a snack, there’s no decision to be made. I’m certainly not going to drive to the store.
  • I don’t have any games on my phone. I know that I can’t control any impulses, especially for “gatcha” free games that encourage you to buy gems to level up.
  • I am locked out of each social media app after 15 minutes every day. Social Media has been designed by behavioral scientists, with billions of dollars, to be as addictive as possible. So I don’t try to “use it just a little bit.” I simply don’t let myself use it for any longer than “a little bit” because I’m literally locked out.
  • I don’t play multiplayer games. I have no regulation around “okay I’m done,” so I no longer play multiplayer games. I bet if I played World of Warcraft, you would never get another newsletter from me. Thus, I exclusively play single player games with a story or narrative.
  • I automatically donate to two charities every month: ProPublica investigative journalism and the Nashville Food Kitchen. Both of these decisions were made ONCE, which means I never have to remember to donate, nor am I tempted to spend the money once it hits my account.
  • Whenever I go to the doctor, dermatologist, or dentist, I always schedule my next appointment while I’m there. Because I know I’ll forget to do so months later, or I’ll tell myself I don’t need to go. Future Steve will not want to get his teeth cleaned or get bloodwork done.
  • My workouts are pre-scheduled in my calendar. I would much rather not work out, but I know if I don’t plan for them in my calendar, something else far more fun (but less beneficial) will take their place.

The only reason you get this newsletter every week, and the only reason I get to the gym a few times per week (in addition to ​winning the genetic and environmental lottery​), is because of these Ulysses Pacts.

Here’s how you can use them in your own life.

You-lysses Pacts in Action

Returning to Corey Doctorow:

“Ulysses pacts aren’t perfect, but they are very important. At the very least, creating a Ulysses pact starts with acknowledging that you are fallible. That you can be tempted, and rationalize your way into taking bad action, even when you know better.

Becoming an adult is a process of learning that your strength comes from seeing your weaknesses and protecting yourself and the people who trust you from them.”

Let’s see how we can add some Ulysses Pacts to your life.

To create your own Ulysses Pact: look for opportunities to make a decision TODAY in a moment of strength, to safeguard yourself against an anticipated moment of weakness TOMORROW.

Even better, look for opportunities to make a decision once, and it prevents you from needing to use willpower to repeatedly do the right thing in the future.

A few more examples:

  • Decide to not keep problematic foods in the house once, and you don’t have to spend all night, every night, deciding NOT to eat those foods.
  • Decide to automatically donate to a cause you love once, and you don’t have to remember to not spend that money on something else and donate each month.
  • Delete and/or block social media and time-wasting games on your phone once, and suddenly the decision to read a book or go for a walk rather than mindlessly scroll through TikTok or Instagram becomes much easier.

Remember, acknowledging and creating safeguards against our weaknesses isn’t a sign of giving up or weakness.

It’s a courageous sign of acceptance.

It’s also smart.

What are the Ulysses Pacts you use in your own life? Did this article inspire you to create one for yourself?

Reach out and let me know!

-Steve

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#healthyliving #holistic #nutrition Why Setting Boundaries in Relationships is So Hard and How to Do It Anyway

boundaries in relationships

Setting boundaries in relationships isn’t easy—and there are several misconceptions about what setting boundaries actually means. You might hesitate to form boundaries in your career, romantic relationships, or friendships because you assume this will make you come across as unreliable, selfish, or inconsiderate. 

You’re afraid to push others away, turn down opportunities, and fall short of expectations, so you just continue showing up—often to your own detriment. A recent survey found that 65 percent of women have trouble saying, “No,” to a request or invitation they don’t want to be part of. 

I know I’ve done this before and I’m sure you have too. It doesn’t feel good—and yet, it feels impossible to just do what you actually want to do. So you stay stuck in that cycle.

The truth is that setting healthy boundaries in relationships is an essential form of self-care and, as a result, is critical for your overall health and wellness. Let’s unpack what setting boundaries means (hint: it might not be what you think!) and the benefits of creating them for both your physical and mental health.

Understanding What Healthy Boundaries Mean for Your Health

First and foremost, I want to be clear on what I mean when I say “setting boundaries.” For me, setting a boundary is about determining what I want or need and then making a decision about how to achieve that for myself. Boundaries give us permission to:

  • Honor our own limits
  • Restore our inner peace and balance
  • Determine where we should invest our time and energy
  • Notice what doesn’t serve us
  • Trust ourselves to know exactly what we need

In other words, boundaries aren’t always necessarily meant to keep people out or push people or experiences away. They’re more about tuning into what you need and honoring that deeply and completely.

Believing the latter is true might be why setting boundaries feels uncomfortable. You fear that you’ll sabotage your relationships or environments that matter to you. 

The truth is, the more you learn to establish, communicate, and maintain boundaries, the more full and complete all areas of your life will start to feel. You’ll also feel less resentment toward other people and situations in your life.

Here are great things that boundaries can do for you:   

  • Make it easier to clarify and align with your main priorities. 
  • Help you distinguish your own needs, thoughts, and emotions from those of others. 
  • Help you release responsibility for someone else’s expectations.
  • Reinforce confidence, resilience, and a clear sense of identity.
  • Ensure that your time and resources are being allocated intentionally.
  • Promote healthy conflict resolution to enrich your relationships.
  • Recharge your mental, emotional, and physical batteries.
  • Nurture self-respect by communicating what you will not tolerate.

Different Types of Boundaries for Your Many Relationships

Relationship boundaries strengthen your connections with both people and things in your life. These boundaries can take many forms and each one can create more space for your authentic self to flourish and intentional, mindful living to take root. 

Notice how I’m not just referencing relationships with other people. There are many ways I’ve set boundaries in my relationships, yes with people like friends or partners, but also with technology and work—and so much more. You have a relationship with both things and people in your life—and being clear with how they play a role in your life is powerful. 

Let’s break down some different types of boundaries and how you can set them in your own life.

Emotional Boundaries

Emotional boundaries allow for a healthy relationship. They ensure that you’re safe to communicate how you feel without taking on the emotions of others. These boundaries will help you set the emotional investment you’re able to put forth so you can pull back to regulate your emotions and return to a state of balance. 

Setting an emotional boundary in a situation or with a person also empowers you to combat false narratives about yourself. In turn, you can begin to release the expectations, insecurities, and negative beliefs or reactions. Here are some examples of healthy emotional boundaries:

  • I won’t tolerate being spoken to disrespectfully.
  • I’m not comfortable discussing my past traumas with someone I just met.
  • I need some space to process my feelings before discussing that topic further.
  • I won’t take responsibility for someone else’s emotions.
  • I’m going to focus on my own needs and self-care right now.

I know this can be really hard, especially if you haven’t set boundaries in the past. But, by practicing little by little, it will get easier and be worth it in the end.”

Physical Boundaries

Physical boundaries establish a comfortable, protective barrier around your own space or body, from choosing to rest when you’re tired to telling a friend when you need space. These boundaries reinforce a compassionate, self-aware, and intuitive connection with your own body, which helps you develop deeper self-trust. 

For example, a physical boundary could be to establish alone time or even a physical space within your home where you can retreat for solitude and relaxation, such as a reading nook or a home office. 

Remember, you’re allowed to ask for personal space, even if you’re in a romantic relationship, live with roommates, or have children.

Work-Life Boundaries

Work-life boundaries create a firm separation between your personal and career obligations. An intentional work-life balance prevents the time you spend on the job from blurring into the time you allocate toward self-care and family activities. 

A good example of this might be a time boundary: turning off your email notifications right at 5 PM. While a lack of boundaries in this area can lead to exhaustion and burnout, a healthy work-life balance will improve your mental health, reduce stress levels, and increase happiness. 

I know this is something you’ve heard before—but do you actually set and respect those boundaries? 

Technology Boundaries

Technology boundaries help you establish restrictions on smartphone usage, so you can unplug from virtual screens and connect with the real world. I know that if I’m not intentional about this, I’ll check my phone continually throughout the day without even thinking about it.  

This is a chance to set some guidelines for when you want to be on your phone or how much time you want to spend on social media. Putting physical space between yourself and these aspects of your life can help you better align with the self-care you want to give yourself.    

Interestingly, a two-week detox from social media was found to result in less anxiety, stress, sleep disturbances, and even sedentary habits. If those are goals for your life, a digital detox or better tech boundaries are a good thing to consider.

Putting Boundary-Setting into Practice

Now, we get to the part that might feel the hardest—drawing the line in the sand and setting those clear boundaries. Here’s an exercise you can use to take the emotion of this practice and instead, focus on what you need and how you can make it possible. 

Take a piece of paper and draw two lines down it so you have three columns. Fill them out as follows:

Column 1: Identify how you want to take better care of yourself. Coming back to self-care and what is getting in the way of that. Start with 5-10 things that your mind and body is craving. Maybe it’s more nutritious food options during the week or extra quiet time before or after work.

Column 2: Determine what’s getting in the way of those things. Write this in column two next to each thing. Maybe you’re eating out for lunch each day, rather than making yourself a nutrient-dense lunch because you’re not giving yourself the time to get to the grocery store. Write that down.

Column 3: In the last column, write what small action you can take to set a healthy boundary and give yourself the thing you’ve been needing. Be realistic here—this isn’t about magically creating more hours in the day. It’s about doing what you can with what you have. 

Finally, choose 2-3 of these things that you can start doing this week. Set those boundaries, get a little uncomfortable as you put them in place, and see what happens. With a little practice, setting boundaries will get easier—and you’ll feel good too!

Communicating Boundaries (With Yourself and Others)

Effective boundary-setting with others requires clarity, consistency, communication, and assertiveness. Clearly articulating your boundaries helps to avoid misunderstandings and conflicts. 

I want you to remember that being assertive doesn’t mean being aggressive or confrontational. It’s about expressing your needs and limits firmly but respectfully, while also being open to negotiation and compromise when appropriate. 

For example, if you repeatedly experience a boundary violation, it’s necessary to calmly but firmly reassert what you need, perhaps with additional clarification if necessary. It might even be necessary to put space between you and the person who’s violating your boundary to protect yourself and your mental health. 

Just as important as communicating to others is holding healthy boundaries for yourself. This requires you to not only recognize your own limits, needs, and desires—but also keep yourself accountable to prioritizing those things. 

In doing this, you empower yourself in other areas of your life too, which allows you to further set boundaries that are needed as your life changes and evolves.  

Strengthen Your Boundaries and Nurture Self-Care with Lindywell

Healthy boundaries in your relationships with people, technology, and work make it possible to regulate emotions, maintain inner peace, successfully navigate relationships, restore energy levels, and, ultimately, prioritize your own self-care. Boundaries are about more than just saying, “No,” to what doesn’t serve you. Boundaries also free you up to offer a resounding, ”Yes!” to what feels most important in each season of life.

To prioritize your well-being in a way that is easy and convenient, I invite you to become a part of our community at Lindywell. Join now and get 14 days free! As a member, you’ll gain instant access to more than 350 Pilates classes, guided breathwork sessions, and nourishing recipes. Shift into grace over guilt while you make time for YOU.

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