Tag: fitness

Two words I hear all the time: motivation and accountability.

From clients, readers, and people who want to get healthier but can’t seem to make it stick.

While they sound simple, both are actually…complicated.

When someone says, “I just need more accountability,” what that really means can vary a lot.

• Sometimes it’s about systems and structure.
• Sometimes it’s about clarity on their goals and how to achieve them.
• And sometimes, it’s about how we personally respond to expectations – both from ourselves and from others.

Why no single “system” fits everyone

If you’ve ever read books like Atomic Habits by James Clear, The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, or Switch by Chip and Dan Heath, you know there are a lot of frameworks out there for understanding behavior.

After 15 years of coaching, here’s what I’ve learned:

None of these systems are foolproof. None of them fully capture how complex people really are.

But that’s not the point. Each one is a lens. A new vantage point that helps us see our habits and struggles differently.

And when you’re stuck, sometimes that’s exactly what you need: a fresh perspective that gives you a new way to approach things.

Enter The Four Tendencies

Several years ago, our entire coaching team read ​The Four Tendencies​ by Gretchen Rubin, and it provided some really key insights that we’ve baked into our coaching program and how we think about helping people ever since.

The basic concept is this: people respond to internal and external expectations differently. By understanding which expectations you thrive with, and which are a struggle, you can work with your natural tendencies instead of fighting against them.

The most common tendency we see is The Obliger.

Obligers are the glue of a team or family. They meet outer expectations (deadlines, commitments, helping others), but resist inner ones (self-care, personal goals, boundaries).

Sound familiar?

If you’ve ever said:

“I know what I should be doing… but I can’t seem to do it for me,”

…you might be in this group.

One of our clients described it perfectly:

“Every bit of energy feels consumed by surviving my workday, meeting the needs of my family, helping with the needs of others… there’s too little self-care and self-prioritization in my life at this time.

I know I bring the situation upon myself. I am wired to commit to things, to be involved, to want to be needed and valued and recognized. But it comes at a price. The demands from other people or things leave little left for me.”

That’s the Obliger experience in a nutshell.

And let me be clear, this isn’t about weakness or lack of willpower.

In fact, Obligers get SO MUCH done.

The problem is they often sacrifice their own goals to help others, which can lead to health challenges in the long-run.

How we help Obligers succeed

At Nerd Fitness Coaching, we help Obligers by providing three key supports: external accountability, Dial Mode adjustments, and tracking wins as they accumulate to reinforce and reward their progress.

Here’s how you can translate those into your own practice:

• A coach or workout buddy you checks in and celebrates wins with you
• A checklist or ​tracking system​ that makes your progress visible
• Building out a ​Dial Mode​ – i.e. a plan for different types of days so you can adjust accordingly and avoid burnout
• Reframing goals as something that benefits others – i.e. “I’m exercising so I have more energy for my kids.”

As you’ll notice, several of those are about externalizing your accountability.

Here’a another fun tactic: write a letter from your future self to your current self thank you for showing up. This is the exact thing that clicked for my client Gina. When things got hectic, writing that letter made her feel accountable to her future self (in a good way!). That simple shift helped her stay consistent through a chaotic month.

The Hidden Danger: burnout and the “pause button”

Obligers often take on too much.

They juggle a million competing expectations – deadlines, family, coworkers, community.

And when it all gets too heavy, they tend to hit the big red pause button on SOME of those.

“I just can’t deal with all of this right now. I’ll get back to it later.”

Totally understandable. And in fact, it’s an act of self-preservation. They CAN’T keep going at 100 miles per hour.

We often see folks in this scenario try to cut out all of these outside expectations with the hope that they’ll finally have time to focus on themselves later.

It sounds logical, but it usually backfires.

Because Obligers actually thrive with some form of external accountability.

So the key isn’t to eliminate expectations. It’s to curate them.

Here are a few counterintuitive questions I like to ask to do just that:

What are the benefits of NOT moving towards goal X right now?

And what are the consequences of continuing to move towards it?

By reversing the old “pro/con” list, we can get a lot of clarity on what feels good to you!

Big picture takeaway

Motivation and accountability aren’t one-size-fits-all.

Understanding your “tendency” gives you a new lens – and using tools specific to your needs increases your chances of success in the long-run.

If you want to see where you land, you can take the free quiz from Gretchen here -> ​https://gretchenrubin.com/quiz/the-four-tendencies-quiz/​

Let me know which tendency you get! (I’m a Questioner! )

-Matt

P.S. Fun fact: ~60% of the people we work with at Nerd Fitness Coaching identify as Obligers. Everyone’s needs are different, which is why we design coaching around you, not generic motivation hacks. If that sounds like the kind of structure you’ve been missing, I’d love to talk to you. Just hit reply to this email.  

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Today, I want to share a simple framework we use inside Nerd Fitness Coaching to turn goals into plans you can actually follow.

By the end, you’ll be like Neo in The Matrix – able to see the pattern and build a resilient, flexible routine even when life gets chaotic.

Cool? Cool.

Step 1: Picture your 12-month win

The first step is to write down what your goals actually are!

Maybe it’s…

• Lose 20 pounds to improve your bloodwork
• Run a 5k to support your local charity
• Get your first ​pull-up​
• Feel more confident in your body
• Just feel better. Stronger, more energy, less aches and pains.

Anything goes.

If you’re feeling stuck, try this:

“12-months from now, if you’ve made awesome progress on your health and fitness goals…what does life look and feel like? Describe your average day to me.”

That can help get the ideas flowing and gives you a North Star to aim for.

Step 2: Identify the skills behind that goal

Here’s where most people get tripped up.

They go straight from “I want to lose 20 lbs” to “I need to follow this exact workout plan five days a week.” That skips over a crucial step: skills.

Ask yourself:

“What are the types of skills someone who achieves this goal develops?”

Here are some ideas to get you going:

Want to lose weight?

• Controlling portion sizes
• Planning and prepping meals
• Getting enough sleep
• Having non-food coping mechanisms for stress
• Staying active throughout the week

Want to get stronger?

• Carving out time to lift regularly
• Recovering well (including sleep & rest days)
• Eating enough protein
• Learning how to work near failure in your workouts

You don’t have to list every skill. Just jot down a few that come to mind.

Step 3: Choose your practices

Now that you’ve identified a few skills, the next step is to figure out how to practice them.

This is the cool part, because there’s no one right answer, which is actually a good thing. Take my client Amanda, for example.

She wanted to lose weight to improve her overall health. So we identified “controlling portion sizes” as a key skill. But she didn’t want to count calories every day.

So here’s what we did:

• Week 1: Built the habit of packing an afternoon snack at work. This helped prevent evening overeating.
• Week 3: Used ​hand-portion guides​ to estimate meals. We started with breakfast, then moved to lunch and dinner over the course of a few weeks.
• Week 10: Tried short-term calorie tracking. Which she actually enjoyed – something she never thought when we first started!

All different practices. All in service of the same skill.

We had room to adapt based on what felt realistic and useful at the time.

And if she ran into a tough day? She could pivot to a different practice while still building the underlying skill.

If you skip the skill-building step, you risk creating an inflexible plan, or chasing the wrong actions entirely.

That’s one reason so many diets fail: they don’t help you build sustainable skills. They just give you temporary rules.

–

Now I’d love to hear from you!

• What’s one 12-month win you can think of?
• What’s one skill that could help you get there?
• What’s an easy practice you can work towards this week for that skill?

Hit reply and let me know. I’d love to cheer you on.

You got this

-Matt

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There’s a cycle I see people get caught in all the time – and it makes staying on track with workouts and nutrition super difficult.

Here’s how one of my clients, Josh, put it:

“Things get super challenging (work/home/etc.) > less time > don’t get self care (time alone, workouts, etc.) > lower mood > makes things even more challenging > makes self care even less likely to happen > even lower mood > and so on.”

I know I can relate!

Here’s the thing, often, people in these situations say: “I just need more motivation”, when what they need is more bandwidth.

That’s where something we call the Nourishment Menu comes in.

What’s a Nourishment Menu?

A Nourishment Menu is a list of things that help you feel restored – even just a little bit – physically, mentally or emotionally.

Think of activities like: reading, listening to music, taking a walk outside, talking to a friend, decluttering your desk, preparing a meal, stretching, etc.

The goal is to pick one action item off of the menu each day to put a little bit of energy back in your battery.

When you’re stressed out and feeling drained, proactively practicing self-care helps build a bit of momentum, consistency and mental space.

I’ve seen it make a HUGE difference for the people I coach through the different challenging periods in life: becoming new parents, job transitions, relationship stress, you name it.

We clear the calendar for a few weeks and focus ONLY on completing a self-care item each day. They look at their menu and pick the one that works for them that day.

Then, as soon as they have their feet under them, we’re able to build more specific fitness routines that they can actually stick to without feeling like they’re drowning.

Obviously, a Nourishment Menu doesn’t immediately fix everything – but it does give you a bit of breathing room.

And without that bandwidth, it’s like you’re trying to build a house (your fitness habits) when the foundation is on fire.

Four mistakes people make with self-care

While you’re building your own Nourishment Menu, make sure to watch out for these common mistakes I see people make.

1) Having too narrow of a list. I think this graphic says it perfectly:

Consistency is dependent on flexibility. Having more options at your disposal is a good thing!

2) Relying on “once-in-a-while” tactics.

For example, a massage feels wonderful, but since it’s not something you have access to regularly, it serves as an awesome bonus rather than a main menu item.

3) Confusing self-care with letting yourself off the hook

Self care is NOT about letting yourself off the hook. It’s about taking care of yourself so you can stay in the game.

Sure, sometimes the right answer is to Netflix and chill.

But more often than not, self-care LOOKS like doing the hard thing: going to bed early, squeezing in that short workout, etc.

4) Discounting self care as too “woo woo”

If you’re struggling to take the idea of self-care seriously, try thinking of it as system maintenance instead.

I choose you, Pikachu!

The new Pokemon game (Pokemon Legends: Z to A) launches today. As a huge Pokemon fan myself, it just so happens that one of my favorite variations of the nourishment menu fits right in! My client Liz came up with the idea to theme her list after her favorite Pokemon. It made it feel fun, approachable, and a little less serious (which can be helpful when things are stressful!) For example, Snorlax represents getting more sleep, Leafeon is time outdoors, Machamp is lifting weights, etc. How cool is that?

Click through to see some more examples!

–

Now I’d like to hear from you!

• What are ways you can proactively practice self-care (system maintenance) this week?
• What items are on your personal Nourishment Menu?

You’ve got this!

-Matt

P.S. If you’re looking for a coach who takes you as a WHOLE person into account, then look no further! Now is a great time to see if ​Nerd Fitness Coaching​ is right for you while you can still lock in our legacy rates.

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Here’s a common scenario that pops up all the time:

“I’m traveling for the next few days. What should I do for my workout?”

Great question!

Today, I want to share with you my go-to workout routine for when I travel.

I’ve used a variation of this workout for over a decade with clients who are traveling for work, a wedding, a long-overdue vacation, you name it.

Let’s break it down together so you know exactly what to do the next time you hit the road.

But first, I like to ask a really important question:

“What do you want this trip to look like?”

Because there’s no one “right” answer.

You might:

• Stick closely to your current program and hunt for a hotel gym, etc. (important if staying consistent matters for your goal – or just if you enjoy it!)
• Take a much needed rest week (which is totally fine – research suggests that one-week of full rest does not hinder strength or muscle building. )
• Or switch to a travel-friendly plan to maintain momentum (that’s what we’ll cover today!)

Whatever it is, we just want to know why we’re doing it so we can plan accordingly.

For anyone who wants to move, feel good, and return home without losing your rhythm, here’s my go-to Travel Bodyweight Workout Framework.

The 5-Movement Framework

When I’m traveling, I keep it simple with a full-body workout split that hits a bit of everything.

That way, I’m not “waiting” to work other parts of my body. I might not even get to that next workout, as travel can be unpredictable at best!

Exercise #1: Squat Pattern

Progressions:

• ​Assisted Squat​
• ​Bodyweight Squat​
• ​Staggered Squat​
• ​Lunge​

Tip: If you struggle with squat mobility, try placing a rolled up towel under your heels to give yourself a bit of elevation. This takes ankle mobility out of the equation! Recommended for Assisted and Bodyweight squat variations.

Exercise #2: Push Pattern

Progressions:

• ​Wall Push-ups​
• ​Elevated Push-ups​
• ​Knee​ or ​Floor Push-ups​
• ​Archer Push-ups​

Tip: Initiate the push-up by imagining you are leaning forward slightly from the shoulders – it will make it harder!

Exercise #3: Hinge Pattern

Progressions:

• ​Floor Bridge​
• ​Good Morning​
• ​1-Leg Romanian Deadlift​
• ​Towel Leg Curls​

Tip: The hinge is one of the harder things to train while on the road. If you can’t get a good workout with one of these, I like trying a ​Lateral Squat or Lunge​ as an alternative.

Exercise #4: Pull Pattern

Progressions:

• ​Prone Swimmers​
• ​Doorway Row​
• ​Corner Tuck​
• Suitcase Row (i.e. ​one-arm row​ with your luggage!)

Tip: The other challenging trait to train on the road. I particularly like the Corner Tuck but see what works for you! I’ve had some clients pack a Resistance Band so they can add things like Band Rows and Pullaparts without it taking up a ton of space.

Exercise #5: Auxiliary / Core / Conditioning

Options:

• ​Deadbug​
• ​Side Plank​
• ​Mountain Climbers​
• Backpack ​Lateral Raises​
• etc.

Tip: This is a “free-for-all” spot in the workout. I’ll typically do some sort of Core movement here, but this is a good place to throw conditioning or any other specific auxiliary work like Lateral Raises using a backpack, etc. if you’d prefer!

How to Use It

You might have noticed: “But Matt, there’s no sets and reps listed here?”

I can’t sneak anything past you. I typically run this one of two ways:

A. Time-Based Circuit:

Work 30 seconds, rest 30 seconds. Cycle through all 5 moves for 2–5 rounds.

You can level this up by switching to a 40 second work, 20 second rest timer instead.

B. Rep-Match Rounds:

Start your first round by doing as many reps as you can with good form (up to 30 reps. If you can do 30 reps, try a harder variation if you can!)

Then, do 1 or 2 more rounds where you MATCH the total number of reps you got in the first round, EVEN IF you have to take short 10 second breaks to get there.

Depending on which option and how many rounds you choose, this workout will run you 10-25 minutes and leave you feeling accomplished and ready to tackle your day.

Travel doesn’t have to be a setback. It’s just another environment to adapt to.

You get to decide whether this trip is a deload, a ‘maintain-the-momentum’ week, or a chance to test your creativity in order to stick with the plan as-is.

You’ve got this!

-Matt

P.S. In case you missed ​last week’s newsletter announcement​, prices for our NF Coaching program are going up on November 1st. So now is a great time to check out our program if you’ve been on the fence to get in at our current rates.

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Note: Make sure to read to the end for an important update about Nerd Fitness Coaching!

Over the past 8 years, we’ve had thousands of conversations with clients, Rebels, and community members.

We’ve run polls, read replies, and listened closely to what people struggle with.

Again and again, variations of three statements kept coming up.

• “Just tell me what to do.”
• “I need to see signs of progress.”
• “I can’t seem to stay motivated.”

Each of these reveals an underlying pitfall I see people fall into, and I want to help you avoid making the same mistakes!

“Just tell me what to do.”

Pitfall: overly restrictive plans that leave you burned out

Need: clarity that fits your life

People I talk to feel overwhelmed and overloaded.

They already have a ton on their plate with work, family, and other responsibilities.

It’s no wonder there’s a strong desire for someone to just simplify things!

But it backfires when it leads to plans that aren’t a good fit for your life.

Exercises that aren’t the right level, restrictive meal plans, and schedules that assume you have all the time and energy in the world just leave you burned out and back at square one.

We’ve learned to emphasize fit and flexibility first.

• ​Workout plans​ that flex to your current ability (not “one-size-fits-all”)
• Options that respect your circumstances (​injury​, ​parenting​, busy job, etc.)
• ​Meal templates​ that can adapt with your preferences

That way, you get clarity on next steps while also making sure there’s enough flexibility to make it a good fit for you.

“I need to see signs of progress.”

Pitfall: jumping from one program to the next

Need: multiple levels of feedback loops

Change is hard.

And it’s even harder if it feels like you’re spinning your wheels and not getting anywhere! I bet a lot of us have started a new workout, or a new nutrition program, only to step on the scale or look in the mirror and feel deflated and like nothing is happening.

That can lead to program hopping – jumping from one thing to another so quickly it’s hard to evaluate their effectiveness.

Fitness is like investing: the biggest returns take time!

So here’s how we tackle that: we track both effort AND results.

• Effort: workouts completed, habits practiced, consistency
• Results: strength gains, body composition, moving through your day more easily, sleep quality, energy levels, etc.

Wins in consistency are an early form of progress. They are the first step in evaluating whether a program is a good fit for you.

Wins in results come later, but are still important to consider when evaluating any changes that need to be made.

Some tools we love to accomplish each of these:

• ​Jar of Awesome​ (effort): every time you make a choice you’re proud of, add a marble (or note) to the jar. Watch the wins stack up.
• ​Zoom Out sessions​ (results): set a rhythm (we recommend every 2-6 weeks) to evaluate your progress. This prevents you from adjusting things too quickly while also giving you clear check-in points to make changes.

Having feedback loops in each of these areas makes it easier to stay confident and patient.

“I can’t seem to stay motivated.”

Pitfall: all-or-nothing thinking

Need: systems that support consistency

This is the big one. Life gets messy. People get sick, work runs late, chaos happens.

It’s easy to get knocked off course and blame ourselves and our lack of motivation for being unable to see things through.

This leads to a lot of all-or-nothing thinking.

Either we are all in (and things are going great!), or we get knocked off course and struggle to get back on track.

Here’s how to avoid that pitfall:

• ​Have backup plans ready.​ Shorter workouts and quick meals to fall back on in a pinch have helped us more times than we can count.
• ​Reframe setbacks as part of the process.​ All-or-nothing thinking derails people more often than lack of effort or motivation.
• ​Build accountability into your system​. It could be a friend, a community, or even a simple checklist. It’s important to find a method that works for you, whatever it is.

The more you practice implementing these systems, the easier it will be to maintain momentum.

Quick checklist

When you look at your own plan, ask yourself:

And if you’d like help implementing these strategies, now is a great time to join Nerd Fitness Coaching!

For the first time in 8 years, we’ll be raising prices for new Nerd Fitness Coaching clients after October 31, 2025.

Current clients are not affected.

Starting November 1, the base monthly rate will increase from $197 to $297.

The change reflects 8 years of improvements we’ve made as a program, continued investment in our custom app, and our commitment to hiring and retaining the best coaches in the galaxy.

If you’ve been thinking about joining, you can still lock in the $197/month rate if you sign up by Friday, October 31, 2025.

​Our team​ would love to chat with you to see if coaching is the right fit!

-Matt

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